The Ability to Receive

“I was attending a workshop with John and noticed that he was feeling cold.  I had on a bright colorful scarf and offered it to him.  He wrapped himself up in it, at that moment … and for the rest of the days in the workshop!  On the last day, I gave the scarf to him, realizing that he had “owned it” and that it now belonged to him.  I sometimes imagine him wrapped up in that pretty scarf, and it makes me smile.”

Commitment to His Friends and Willingness to Help

“John and I were in a year-long intensive and advanced coach training program as participants.  The course was rigorous and required several hours of homework each week.  I was sharing with John that I was behind with the coursework, and concerned that I might not be able to complete the program in time, and thereby not earn the certificate nor receive the full value of the course.  John revealed that he, too, was struggling to keep up with the assignments.  So together we invented a “buddy system” that we effectively used for the rest of the year.  We would both schedule 60-90 minutes in our calendars.  At the beginning of the appointed time, we would call one another by phone, say hello and share what we were going to be working on during the rest of that time block.  At the end of the appointed time, we would stop working on the assignment, and email each other with what we had accomplished.  Then we would schedule our next date to continue working in this fashion.  Happily, we both completed the program on time, received our certificates and served as program coaches in the course.  I have since used this technique with many of my students in coaching programs, and it has also worked for them.  To this day, I don’t think I would have successfully completed the program without John’s help and support!”

Sharing a Hidden Talent

“John was a frequent visitor in our home.  One time he asked to go to our local market, saying he was going to make dinner for us.  We went to the market and John meticulously selected numerous items.  We returned home and he made an incredible fish stew for our family.  To this day, my husband’s mouth still waters whenever I mention John’s stew!”

Being Truly Present to Others

“One of my fondest stories is of a time John and I shared on a rental car shuttle bus. If memory serves, we met up outside of Dulles airport on our way to a program coach meeting. I was going through a time of inner tumult and transformation and was mulling on something as we boarded the shuttle bus.

“Once our luggage was secured and we were safely in our seats, John turned to me. Though I hadn’t said a thing about it, he could tell that something wasn’t quite right. As he settled into himself to listen and connect, the space around us seemed to grow, despite the number of riders crowded around.

“I forget exactly what John asked, but whatever was bothering me came tumbling out. He sat silently taking it in, extending the space in which we were simply present with what was. After an appreciative breath, John asked me a single question. I no longer remember what it was, but I clearly remember how quickly and powerfully it blew whatever I’d been mired in wide open!!!  I may have sat dumbstruck for a moment before gathering my wits to say, ‘Thank you, John!’

“John’s ability to sense into others’ presence, listen deeply and offer from his heart will be with me always.”