Coaching to a New York City State of Mind

The Challenge of Choice

Throughout this essay, I have tried to trace out some of the implications for the coaching process of a client who is in a New York City State of Mind. To conclude this essay, I want to move directly into the heart of the issue and suggest several specific coaching strategies. I will focus first on the challenge of choice to be found in a New York City State of Mind and then turn to the rich opportunities found in the multiple Intersections to be found in this state of mind. I conclude by briefly introducing the concept of “internal context” that I am borrowing from my colleague, Sandra Hill. I suggest that ultimately the New York City State of Mind has to do with the exploration by our coaching clients of character and this internal context.

When our coaching clients are in a New York City State of Mind, they are faced with many options. They might easily feel flooded by choice and options. As Kenneth Gergen (1991) notes, their “self” becomes “saturated.” They are not sure what is their real self and what is a manufactured or externally-imposed (or marketed) self. Is our coaching client standing on Wall Street, Main Street or Broadway?  Is it all theater and show business or to quote a show business phrase is it “the real McCoy?” Ironically, our clients must first make a decision about decision-making. They must choose between several ways to make choices when faced with this challenge of choice and the discernment required to address their saturation.

One option is to try to do everything. After all, New York City is “one hell of a town!!” For a visitor to this great city, this certainly is a very tempting option and it certainly is the one chosen by many people who have only two days to tour the Big Apple. Unfortunately, this option leads to superficiality and eventual burnout. We often see this outcome among the very busy men and women we coach. They never seem to spend enough time with anything (either projects or other people). They don’t even have time for themselves. As Robert Rosenblatt (2001) noted in an essay written while lingering at Dover Beach, the appointments we most often cancel are the appointments we make with ourselves.

As a coach, we can do several things to help our option one clients address the issue of over-extension. First, we can help them with time management. As many experts in this field have proposed, the issue is not really the management of time. It is the management of priorities. What is most important for our clients to experience, to feel, to achieve, to complete? What is their bucket list for the next year (not just for the end of their life)? Many coaches have tools to help their clients establish priorities and these tools should be pulled out of the coach’s satchel at this point.