• Keep detailed notes of any indiscretions that may occur.

• Keep someone you trust informed of any concerns you may have about the APD individual’s behavior. Be specific but don’t speculate or interpret when you do this, simply state your concerns factually.

• Ask for help if you are struggling to deal with the APD’s behavior. If you have access to a trusted advisor or counselor, do so.

• APD individuals are masters of manipulation – do not blame yourself if you like you have been manipulated into behavior that is uncharacteristic for you – avoid getting deeper into any scenario that is uncomfortable for you. Rather be transparent about the issue and talk to either counselors or trusted people as early as possible.

Borderline Personality Disorder

The Borderline Personality Disorder manifests as a pervasive pattern of instability regarding interpersonal relationships and their self-image is marked by impulsivity. They usually have a self-image based on being evil and at times have feelings that they don’t exist at all. These individuals make frantic efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment or rejection or separation or the loss of external structure. They are intensely impacted by external environmental circumstances. They may experience inappropriate levels of fear and anger at even temporary periods of separations, for example,  where a caregiver may end a session earlier than expected or may arrive a few minutes late. They have an intolerance of being alone and need to have others with them.

These individuals have long term patterns of unstable relationships. They may initially idealize caregivers or partners, demand an extraordinary amount of their time and share highly personal and intimate details about themselves very early in the relationship. This idealization may quickly turn to devaluing them when they perceive that the caregiver or partner is not caring enough or not providing enough personal time or attention. These shifts in attitude to others can be quick and dramatic. They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness and abusive verbal outbursts.

There is the likelihood of marked and persistent instability in self-image and sense of self. These shifts may manifest as sudden changes in personal goals, values, career aspirations and/or life goals and objectives. These individuals demonstrate worse performance in less structured educational or work environments. They may display high levels of impulsivity in the form of gambling, spending money irresponsibly, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving and physical violence. They may also display recurrent suicidal behaviors or threats, or self-mutilation. They display instability of mood, manifest as intense dysphoria, irritability or anxiety. They easily become bored and express chronic feelings of emptiness.